Fertility Tourism: How far will you go to create a Family? Often within my private-coaching sessions, the topic of clarity of direction is brought up in the discussion. The question I hear most is: What should I do next? When we are under either internal or external pressure, our decision-making ability can get compromised. Trying to determine the next course of action can become foggy or restricted.
- Should I begin ART treatments?
- Should I take a break?
- Seek another opinion?
- Seek support?
- Travel out of state?
- Travel abroad?
What I know now that, I wish I knew then When I was in the dark, murky energy of deciding the next course of action to take to create my family, I wish I knew that the answers already were within me. Reading this line, I can’t help but hear Yoda’s voice and your reaction of “yah right.” Going within to your heart-mind allows you to connect to your soul-center, which enables your decisions to flow. Your heart has a different perspective on what is happening at this moment. Creating the connection of heart first quiets the mental chatter and gives you true direction. I would have stood on my head naked in the middle of the street if some stranger said it would guarantee I would be with child the next moment. But that course of action wouldn’t have gotten me where I wanted to go! Moving away from impulse, fear-based decisions removes the feelings of desperation. So how do you decide your next turn? When I was in treatment, I would drive one hour back and forth to my clinic for blood work and daily ultrasounds. Two hours a day was spent in the car trying to get pregnant. Over the course of multiple cycles, the drive time became a burden to me and I slipped into victimization because “other people just had intercourse in their bed and got pregnant! Not me! I was driving Miss Kristen back and forth!” I had to log ten hours of drive time a week, back and forth to a clinic. Then I had a thought. If I had to drive two hours a day for my child, if he/she were physically with me already, I would do it in a heartbeat! So in that moment of awareness, I saw the situation differently. Instead of feeling that driving back and forth equaled scarcity, because I was without at the moment, I was actually driving back and forth for my child. At that moment, it became real and I was already “acting like a mom.” Abundance came in and shifted the perspective. Looking back now, it was a heart mind whispering that led me to continue what I was doing, thus shifting the situation. Let me ask you two questions: how far would you go for your child? And what do I need right now? Those questions equate to asking for directions when you’re lost while driving. If you give space and wait for a reply, you’ll hear your heart direction. That question is like the can opener to your inner knowing and all possibilities that you know you have. Ask and listen, then all your opportunities and openings will come to you with clarity. Ask yourself: what do I need right now? It is an unlimited question and creates a vibration pattern of creating certainty and unlimited support. Whether you are at the beginning, middle or nearing the end of your family creation journey, you need to know there are more options than you can see at this moment. Expand your beliefs about what is possible, how and where you would like to create your family. Your plans will then begin to flow and your destination will come.
“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” - Confucius
Kristen Darcy, Award-winning fertility author and coachwww.kristenmagnacca.com