Secondary infertility can bring on a slew of unwelcome emotions, unique to a woman (or couple) who already has a child and is inexplicably struggling to conceive again. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Andrea Bryman understands fertility on many levels. Not only does she regularly work with surrogates and egg donors, but she also has built her own family with the help of reproductive technology. In her latest article for Global IVF, Andrea helps readers suffering from secondary infertility identify their emotions and offer strategies for living a well-balanced life while dealing with secondary infertility.
“Do they not understand that your desire to have another child has nothing to do with the child that you have already? You love your child and want the world for him/her. Sometimes you love them so much; you want to have a sibling for them. There’s nothing wrong with that. They have no clue about all the unanswered questions that run through your mind everyday. “Why me?” “What did I do?” “When should I see a doctor?” “Is it me or my partner?” “Do we have money to pursue fertility treatment?” “Am I too old?” “Should I not have another child?” “Why can’t I do this again?” “Why does this feel like this is consuming me?
So all your own thoughts together with what feel like callous responses from others may often lead you to feelings of anger, grief, depression, isolation, guilt, jealousy, self-blame and feeling out of control.”